“Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.” Proverbs 22:6 ESV
Are you “lying” to your kids? One definition of the verb lie is: something intended or serving to convey a false impression; imposture. As parents we don’t get to live one way and expect our kids to live another. Have we all done things we aren’t proud of? Absolutely. But are we striving to live in a way that exemplifies the expectations we have of our kids? Are we doing our best to be the example we would want them to follow?
Truthfully consider these hard questions. Yep there’s that word again, hard. Parenting is hard.
Philip Stanhope said “Whatever is worth doing at all is worth doing well.” So we have to ask ourselves…Is parenting well “worth doing”??
Teach them about God, His word, and what the Bible teaches. Do YOU believe with your whole heart or are you just hoping your kids will glean some of the “good” from it and make a few good decisions? Do you believe God’s word is the expectation and not the exception? Do you believe that sex is sacred and should be saved for marriage? Do you believe that is a reality or just an old fashioned fantasy in this day and age? Does what you expect and say match how you live and think?
So I challenge you to honestly answer the questions above and the list below. Then consider the effect the answers might have on your kids.
Do you honor your spouse?
Do you gossip or talk unkindly about others?
Are you “playing” on your electronic devices longer than you allow your kids to play on theirs?
Do your kids understand why you have the expectations you do and the implications of disobedience?
Have you had conversations in calm moments that were not just in reaction to a storm? (I am a firm believer in car conversations)
Is church a priority for you? Do you hear each sermon well enough to teach another about it later?
Do you make God and church a priority for your kids? (Over sports, extracurricular activities, etc.) Do you talk to them about the message they heard.
Do you spend time educating yourself in God’s word so you can continue to grow?
Do you live with humility and put others needs before your own?
Photo by Anna Samoylova on Unsplash
I’ve thought/prayed about this for years (Avery knows this to be a longstanding sticking point in our home). Making church a priority is a challenge. We have a child who has great athletic potential and is therefore on a club team. Meaning tournaments twice a month. So there go Sundays. Since our church holds Wednesdays as an alternate plan for middle/high school students, we have sporting conflicts (due to practices) and homework that takes seemingly 12 hours a night. So we continue to find a balance that is something more defined as sporadic (summers are much easier for Sundays as club ball is on hiatus). Any thoughts or recommendations are greatly appreciated and will be taken into consideration.
Sundays at 6?? Not sure if that might work.
Absolutely. We do The 6 when we can. He has to go to adult church, though. There is no “Kyle” this year who will take the teens into their own group. I’ve tried to petition the church to encourage a high school kiddo to mimic his efforts. Sadly, no results. The theme this series, Explicit Lyrics, has us worried that it isn’t appropriate for Thing 1. I think I also need to give us a break, not compare our church walk with others and be ok, that we’re balancing a lot and doing the best we can to juggle everything.
If they miss for a series or a season it isn’t a huge deal. Your kids are also getting a Christian education at school so they get plenty of reinforcement of your values. It’s when that is not a part of their lives at all along with many of the other things mentioned above.